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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25593826">You're the only one I want</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal101/pseuds/sal101'>sal101</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hollyoaks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:27:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25593826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal101/pseuds/sal101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years have passed since Peri last saw Juliet, and it hasn't been easy for Peri. She cannot get over losing the love of her life and hasn't moved on. When Peri decides to go on a date at a hospital new year party (five years to the day she last saw Juliet) she leaves to get some air and got more than she bargained for</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I hated these new year hospital formals, not only did I have to go to London but having to pretend smile amongst all the people you hated working with was something else. I spotted from the corner of my eye Mitchell and Scott who also looked equally bored, Mitchell raised his champagne glass to acknowledge that he saw me, I nodded back. Mitchell was wearing a normal black suit and tie, whilst Scott was wearing a sparkling light blue suit that screamed Scott. I tried for tonight, I had my hair down, make up on, and I was even wearing that red dress I brought a year which shockingly still fitted me. Mitchell was the only person I liked working with at Chester Hospital. Adam, the guy I came with has not left my side all night, he was like some lost puppy. It has been five years to this day since I last saw Juliet, and she has never left my mind. Even though I knew what she did for a living, I still loved her, and I always will. When I get patients that have drug related problems I always wondered if Juliet had something to do with it. Then my mind worried about whether she has moved on. Adam is a doctor at work that asked me to accompany him to the formal, Scott teased me to go with Adam, told me Juliet is not coming back and I need to move on. Adam placed his hand on my lower back, flashback of Juliet running her hand down my naked back hit me, I sipped some of my wine. “You okay?” Adam said concerned, “You just shook,” I nodded, “yeah, thought someone walked on my grave then.” I laughed it off. I needed air, “um. I might go out for some air,” Adam put his beer bottle down to follow me, “on my own, sorry,” trying to be apological as I could. I turned my back and walked towards the terrace area, Scott and Mitchell intercepted me, “what are you doing?” Scott said quietly, “he is dead fit.” Scott is right, Adam is fit, he is a doctor, probably good in bed and would be a dad to Steph……But he is not Juliet. “I cannot do this Scott; I do not think I am ready.” Scott rolled his eyes, “Pez it has been five years, when are you going to be?” Never. “It is pretty hard to forget about someone like Juliet you know.”<br/>“Yeah, because being a high up drug dealer is such a catch.” Scott waved his arms in the air. Mitchell nudged Scott to get him to stop. “I think what my husband means is you can do a lot better for yourself. Just give Adam a chance.” I looked at Adam again, Mitchell was right I needed to give him a chance. “I need air first; you know gather my bearings and that.” They both nodded in agreement, “and when you get back you are going to sweep that man off his feet,” Scott eyes lit up when he said that. “Yes, I shall.” I carried on walking to the terrace area, I leaned on the railing looking out to the London streets. Maybe if I stayed out here, they might not know I am gone. I took deeps breaths, bracing myself to go back inside and try with Adam. When I heard a familiar voice behind me, “what the hell are you doing here,” it has been five years, but I know that gobby voice when I hear it. I did not turn around, maybe I was hearing things and it was the wine playing tricks on me. I turned around, it was not playing tricks on me, she was real in front of me. My mouth went dry I manged to gather the words, “Juliet it is really you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Thanks for the wine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peri sees Juliet after years of not seeing her</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I could not believe that she was there right in front of me, I did not know what else to say. Juliet: did not look shocked or nervous, she looked like she was up to something, “did you know I was going to be here?” Juliet looked down at the floor, she looked like that gobby kid that my mum took in those years ago, Juliet shrugged her shoulders, “maybe, you look amazing by the way.” I smiled, she too looked amazing, Juliet rarely dressed girly, but, when she did, she was stunning. Through impulse, I tried to hold her hand, but she pulled me away. <br/>“I should not have come here, sorry.” And just like that she walked off. <br/>“Yeah that’s it run away Jules, that is all you ever do.” Juliet stopped, turned around and walked back to me.<br/>“You knew why I had to run away.” Tears were filling her eyes.<br/>“Uh, did you decide that before or after you declared your love for me, slept with me and ran away while I slept!”<br/>“I did it to protect you. You know the kind of people I deal with.” I scoffed; I could not believe that she was saying this to me. <br/>“Well if you did not have such a dangerous job then this would not be happening.” Juliet nodded her head.<br/>“Pez we been through this, I’m in way too deep to leave, Victor will kill me. He will go after you, Steph, my family. Plus, this is all I know.” Juliet told me that she never felt good enough for her family, and no matter how many times I reassured her she never listened, I guess that comes from having Donna as a mum. I tried to hold her hand, this time she let me.<br/>“Jules, I have told you time and time, you are everything to me. You could be a street sweeper and I would still love you. I still love you.” I leaned in to kiss her, she pulled back.<br/>“What about Mr square in there?” I completely forgot about Adam.<br/>“Trust me, there is nothing going on there. What about you?”<br/>“I said you were the only one I want, and I meant it. There has not been anyone.” I looked inside in the window at the party I could spot Adam stood there where I left him. It is unfair to leave him hanging.<br/>“Um, I have a hotel room booked near here.” Juliet raised her eyebrows. <br/>“I did not mean for stuff like that.” Juliet put a fake sad smile, I laughed.<br/>“I meant so we can talk and stuff.” Juliet nodded in agreement. “But I have to tell Adam that I am leaving, it is not fair to do a runner.” <br/>“That is cool, I will wait here.” Juliet folded her arms.<br/>I took a deep breath before I opened the door, when I walked back into the party room I did not have to put on a fake smile, I was happy. Juliet is back, which is all I have ever wanted. I brushed past the people in the crowd to get to my destination. I did not have a clue what I was going to say. Adam was still there holding a glass of wine and a bottle of beer. He handed me the wine, which I took.<br/>“Thanks, look, um, I do not think that things are going to work out.” His face dropped.<br/>“Excuse me?” <br/>“Sorry it is just I am really tired, and I want to go back to the hotel and have a rest.” I gave him the glass of wine back and walked off. Adam’s face is wide open with shock, I am sure he will find someone. I headed back outside to the terrace, but Juliet was gone……..Again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After seeing Peri for the first time in 5 years we see things from Juliet prespective.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I haven't uploaded as wanted to see the New Year episode, which was pants, so I have done my own twist on it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I saw Peri turn around; I felt this pain in my stomach. I knew I was lying to her, again, I hid around the corner of the balcony area and saw Peri come back outside, the smile that she had on her face when she left to tell that simp she was not interested had gone, I broke her heart again. My chest ache, I just wanted to reach out and hold her and tell her that I am sorry, that everything will be okay. Being on the run the past five years has been hard, and the more time I am gone, the more I am getting sucked into this world that I do not to be apart. <br/>“You got what you wanted; we need to go now! If Victor finds out what we have done.” It was Sid he had been watching us, Sid came with me, he left everything behind for me. He was still in contact with Leela who was also lying to Peri about where we are. If Peri finds out she will find us and Victor will kill her. We are in too deep now to call the police, me and Sid were now looking at some serious time, not even James could help us.<br/>“I know, I just wanted to say hello whilst she was in London.” I let out a long sigh. <br/>“Come on, let’s go home, before Victor notices.” Sid said.</p><p>Me and Sid walked through the streets of London, back to the bedsit we call home, but it was not. Sometimes, when I manage to get some sleep, I dream that I am back in the village. Back at the Nightingale flat, Marine correcting my elocution, James having a go at Romeo for using his credit card to buy video game credit. Me and Peri are together, I am walking her to the hospital before her shift, hand in hand, not a care in the world. But it changes to Victor, standing over Peri’s body, holding a knife, with that smirk on his face, a constant reminder that I need to obey by his rules. A distant ringing sound woke me up. Sid was already up with his bag of stash to sell for the day, he looked down at me, I knew what he was going to say.<br/>“Dreaming about Peri, again were we?” He smiled.<br/>I smiled back, “Always.” <br/>I got up from the mattress on the floor, five years sleeping on a mattress on the floor does wonders for your back. Me and Sid had a little bedsit, with a kitchen, separate toilet, we manged to save enough cash for a sofa and TV. When Victor brought us here our money seriously reduced because Victor takes money out our earning’s for ‘rent’. Sid would sometimes sleep on the sofa or the mattress on the floor. I got a picture of me and Peri printed and framed, which I keep on the floor next to me. When Victor told us that we would be living here I ran straight to the toilet to vom. There was graffiti on the walls, (we kept the one that says ‘Victor is a twat’) the toilet and bath had never been cleaned and smeared on one of the walls was dried blood. I stayed in some awful bedsits when I was with my mum; however, this was the worst, but me and Sid were determined that we were going to make it our home. My phone kept ringing, as usual it was a private number, so it must be a client, when I answered it was a familiar voice on the other end, it was James.<br/>“What the hell were you thinking.” He was shouting so loud Sid could hear him. <br/>“Keep your voice down, these walls are paper thin.” I whispered.<br/>“I have had Peri round this morning, crying her eyes out and into mothers favourite blouse leaving tear marks. Do you know how hard they are to get out?” I rolled my eyes, “You can’t toy with her feeling like that and you’re meant to be staying away. It is hard enough as it is keeping this charade up.” He was mad. <br/>“I am sorry, okay, I just needed to see her.” My chest ache again knowing I made Peri cry. Sid poked his head out the window so he can see if Victor is coming. <br/>“Look. You made your bed, or god knows what you are sleeping on now, you have to live with it.” I rolled my eyes, I felt like a teenager again being told off. James breathed hard down the phone, “Look, when I told you Peri was in London, I did not expect you to pounce on her.”<br/>“Trust me if I could have pounced on her I would have.” I scoffed. <br/>“I do not want to know what went through that head of yours when you had your one on one with her.” He really did not want to know. Sid made the sign that Victor was coming. Sid jumped down from the kitchen counter, picked his guitar up, his prized possession and sat on the sofa and began strumming a random tune. <br/>I whispered, “I got to go, bye.” <br/>“Wait, I might have a way out for you.” My heart sank. “I’ll call,” James said before he hanged up. I jumped on the sofa and quickly put the TV on. Victor just waltz through the door as he always does. <br/>“Good morning, lovely day it is.” He threw a bag at me, “I want all that shifted today, hit the usual places.” He turned to walk out, he started to sniff something, he was smelling my coat from last night. “Why can I smell perfume on this? Expensive too, who you trying to impress?” Sid froze, like he always does when Victor is around. I had to think of my feet, “I dealt to some girl the other day and I was hoping to see her again at the same spot.” He looked at Sid, then me, “Ah, Jules do not go down that route, dealer and client relationships do not work.” He turned around and walked out the door, Victor looked back, “I will be back later to pick up my money.” Victor left, me and Sid did not say anything, just in case Victor was stood outside the door listening. Sid peeked out the door, “coast is clear,” I breath out a sigh of relief.<br/>“Jules, I know you love Peri, but seriously you need to be more careful.” He put his guitar down careful.<br/>“I know, Sid, I think James has found a way out for us.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading. Please leave a kudos if you enjoyed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. My Never</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When Juilet goes to see Peri on their anniversary every year</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>January 1st, 2021 </p><p>The village was quiet, all the celebrations have finished, and everyone is in bed drunk or excited from all the partying. I had to see Peri, I know she has probably moved on now, but I had to see her. I walked through the village with my hood up and head down. Bits of rubbish was swirling around in the wind outside The Loft makes the village look even more deserted. I walked past the empty Hutch I laid the flowers down for Sid in memory of Jorden obviously it did not have Sid’s name on it. Everyone thinks we have done a runner from the police. Little did they know. I walked past Price Slice where the news stand had the headline, “shooting in village solved.” I guess they finally caught who shot Sienna. I headed to the Lomax's, I stood at the bottom of the steps and put my hood down. I looked at Peri’s window, I thought she would have been asleep, but her light is on and her window is open. I could see her. My heart jumped. She was standing in the window holding one of my old hoodies, she was crying. I held my hand out towards the window, I wanted to hug her, to tell her that I never left her. It’s been one year, and I think of her all the time. All of a sudden Lela appeared in the window and hugged Peri. I pressed myself against the wall so they could not see me.  </p><p>“I really miss her mum.” Peri sobbed. </p><p>“I know, but Sid and Jules made their choice, would you rather they were rotting in a prison somewhere?” Lela knows where we and having to hide it from Peri must be killing her too. All this mess because of me. I wanted to sob too, I put my hand over my mouth so no one could hear me. I could feel the tears trickling down my hand.  </p><p>“Come on, try to get some sleep, I’ll shut the window.” Lela sighed and shut the window. I stayed pressed against the wall till the refection of the light was gone. I walked away past Marine's café. The light of Price Slice turned on, probably Walter sorting out the papers. I put my hood and put my head down as I walked past the street sweeper clearing up the mess outside The Loft, and headed to the train station.  </p><p> </p><p>January 1st, 2022 </p><p>The village was quiet, all the celebration has finished and all that was left was the litter outside The Loft. I walked past The Hutch to lay flowers for Jorden again. I looked through the window of The Hutch, past the champagne flutes, I looked at the spot where Jorden died, that could be me one day if I do not get out of this. I put my head down and walked through the village and saw the headline on the news stand outside Price Slice, ‘local garage owner questioned over assault.’ I rolled my eyes, I wonder what Warren has done now. I got to the Lomax’s and stood at the bottom of the steps. I put my hood down. Like last year Peri had her light on and window open. I could hear her sobbing and holding my hoodie. I held my hand out towards her window. The temptation to knock on her door and hold was unreal. I can’t though, if Victor finds out he’ll hurt her. The thought made my heart sink. I stayed looking at her window till the light went out. I put my hood back up and walked back to the train station, passing the street sweeper just like last year.  </p><p> </p><p>January 1st, 2023 </p><p>I entered the village and as normal it was quiet, I laid the flowers for Sid as normal outside The Hutch. I put my hood up and walked towards the Lomax’s. Outside Price Slice was the headline, ‘local garage owner acquitted of all charges.’ Ah, Warren got off. I walked towards the Lomax’s, again Peri’s light was on, window open and she was crying. I held my hand out to her. This is so heart wrenching. I just want to hold her. I do not know why but I started to walk up the steps and curled my hand into a ball to knock on the door. I hesitated. I took a deep breath, what was I thinking. Those images I have when I dream came back to haunt me. Peri’s beautiful golden hair covered in blood, Steph without her mum and that would be on my head. No, it’s better this way. I uncurled my fist, my fingers ached from pressing down so hard. I ran back down the steps and looked at Peri’s window, her light was off and I put my hood back up and walked fast past the street sweeper.  </p><p> </p><p>January 1st, 2024 </p><p>This is the last year I am doing this, going to see Peri. It has become like a drug and it is not healthy for the pair of us. I laid the flowers for Sid outside The Hutch and I headed straight to the Lomax’s. The news stand outside Price Slice said ‘local youth turned his life around from drugs to counsellor.’ I smiled and tears filled my eyes, Ollie turned his life around. It got me thinking back to the old days when it was Sid, him, me, Brooke and Imran hanging out, going to festivals. Now the only time I get to go to festivals is to deal for Victor. I looked at Peri’s open window and it was lit. I could see her holding my hoodie and crying, Lela was there comforting her. </p><p>“Pez it has been 4 years, you do this to yourself every year.” Lela pulled back Peri’s hair. I flattened myself against the wall.  </p><p>“I know mum, but, she’s alone and I love her, I just can’t get over her.” I put my face in my hands and started to cry. I could taste the salt from my tears. </p><p>“I know Pez, wow you really did fall for her. Come on get some sleep, it is nearly 4am after all.” I could hear the window shut and the light went out. I stood outside the window and held my hand towards it for the last time. I walked past the street sweeper for the last time. </p><p> </p><p>December 31, 2025 </p><p>“Hey Jules it is James. Look Jules, I know I should not be telling you this; however, I heard Scott, well the whole village could to be honest. Peri is going to be in London tonight for a New Year party. You can do that creepy stalker thing you do. Anyway, make sure you remove this voice mail don’t want Victor to find out. Anyway, toddle pip.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a idea that I have been thinking about, as there is not many good Peri/Juliet fan fic out there. I will add another chapter soon</p></blockquote></div></div>
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